Kid Quotes

~January 2012~

Water.  Too much water has been a theme around here lately.

When we first came up to Omaha the basement flooded a tad.  While we were on vacay, it flooded again.  The pipes in the front of the house had to be dug up and replaced, because the maple tree roots had grown into the ceramic pipes and were clogging them.  Once the construction was over and we settled in, I was thankful that there would be no more floods.

But I must have forgotten that I have boys!  We were all sitting downstairs chatting when we heard gushing water from the bathroom.  Long story short: Luke (3.5 y) had stuffed 1/2 box of kleenex down the toilet.  The toilet was not going to have any of that.  I now understand, why in the book How Do You Tuck In a Superhero?, Rachel gives pre-rules to her kids.  She'll come up with the weirdest things and tell her kids NOT to do it.  While I was reading the book, I thought: "Good thing I don't have to do that with my boys.  They are too sensible."  Oops.  Guess I forgot to brief my kids on toilet no-no's.  After the flood though, I briefed 'em.  All the kids now know that you do not put anything down the toilet.  (Unless you are old enough to wipe and have been authorized to utilize a specific number of TP squares, and that you must call for help when more are needed.)

The following evening, the said bathroom was drying with fans and shop vac still in it, so we told the kids to use the bathroom upstairs.  I went downstairs and found Luke holding an empty holy water bottle in his hands.  This would not be a huge problem....had the holy water bottle not been full of holy water just the day before. 
I ask: "Luke, did you drink the holy water?" 
Luke: "No, Isaiah did. Isaiah is a bad boy!" Haha, kids.
Me to Isaiah: "Isaiah, did you drink the holy water?"
Isaiah: "Noooo, we both did."
Me: "Why?"
Isaiah hangs his head, meaning he doesn't want to answer because he thinks the answer will get him into trouble.
Me: "Why'd you drink the holy water, Isaiah?"
Isaiah: "Because we didn't want to go upstairs for water."

Haha.  So I briefed the children on not drinking the holy water.  Should have done a pre-brief as soon as I saw that book called please don't drink the holy water.  Now I know. =)

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In the morning, Luke often comes into my bed.  Actually, lately he's been coming in around 2 or 3 am.  I let him, because Daddy is deployed.  There's room in the bed, even though Mr. teething Jakey is also usually in my bed by that time.  Once they all wake up, Jake (13 mo) starts crawling around and over people.  This morning Jake crawled all over Luke, who got a good whiff of Jake's soaking-wet nighttime cloth diaper.

Luke asks me: "What does the Jakey smell like?"

Me: "That's his diaper."
Luke: "Why don't you change the Jakey's diaper?"

Right on it, Sonny.

A few minutes later, Jake sneezed.
Luke: "Jakey! Cover!  Jake sneezed on my back."
Jake sneezes again, this time on me.
Me: "Ick, Jakey!"
Luke: "Jakey doesn't know to cover."

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I was supposed to meet my friend at an 8:15 am Mass.  She told me directions, but I had it in my head that I knew where this place was, so I really barely listened to the directions.  Naturally, I ended up in the wrong place.  (I do this way too much.  I need to stop thinking I know it all!)  I went where I thought the 8:15 am Mass was, at precisely 8:14 am.  There we were, me carrying baby Jake, with Luke and Isaiah in tow, all marching in like we own the place, only to find that we interrupted a Mass right in the middle of it.  I was so confused.  We sat down and took our coats off.  How embarrassing.  Obviously the wrong Mass because I knew for sure it was at 8:15 am, but I had it in my head so much that it was here, that it took my brain a little while to realize that it was, in fact, not here.  Oh well.  We were already there.  We had already interrupted the Mass by coming in halfway through; we were not about to interrupt it by leaving before it was over, so we stayed.  It was only 15 more minutes until the Mass was over.  I felt really dumb going to Mass for 15 minutes, but at least I was able to receive our Lord in the Most Holy Eucharist and practice humility while I was at it.


As we were walking out, I still felt very silly for being at the wrong place.  I was chattering about my puzzlement to Isaiah, about how I really thought this was the right place, but it must not be it, and I wonder where the other Mass is....as the lady who sat behind us during Mass starting walking more slowly in front of us and searching in her purse while looking up at us and down at her purse again.  Then she came to us and said: "Here you go.  I want you to have this.  Take your little ones out for breakfast", as she handed me a $15 gift card to McDonald's.  "Are you sure??" I asked.  "Oh yes, take it. I buy these all the time for my son."  Then she disappeared.  How sweet of this lady.


We kept walking to the car and I kept on chatting with Isaiah, saying: "I wonder where the other Mass is?  Too bad we couldn't find it.  I feel bad interrupting the Mass", when Isaiah said: "Well, at least we got the gift card!"  Haha, should have known.  My kids love junk food - what kid doesn't?  They shouldn't even know what McDonald's is, but we are a military family, so McDonald's stops are inevitable, and they have tasted the kind of junk food.  I said again how I wondered how I could have possibly shown up to the wrong Mass, and Isaiah said again: "Well, at least we go the gift card!"  Haha, my kids crack me up.